Completing a task for a child is usually faster than waiting for the child to explore through trial and error. It takes time for a toddler to self-feed and toilet train. Along the journey, there will be messes to clear and frustrations. Many parents will give in and wait for the child to be "ready" before retrying.
My children are taken care by their grandparents when I'm at work. There are different ground rules set at the 2 households. MIL tends to give in and feed the child even if the child is ready is self-feed. Her reason being she will rather feed the child than clearing the mess that will be left on the table and floor as she has housework piling up.
When we pick our children home after work and over weekends, we adopt the DIY approach at home. If the child doesn't keep their toys, the mess will be left at it is or thrown away after a few warnings. I'll rather live with the mess than having irresponsible children.
Children adapt to different situations quickly. They are ready to be independent when given the chance. Given the time and space, the child can learn at their own pace. Failure is part & parcel of growing up. Observing how my children behave under different caregivers, I can see how the environment can mould the future of a child.
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