Mei was singing this new song from school- missing metal, missing strings...it reminds me if her brother. He lost his water bottle & a new book he bought from the book fair 2 days in a row.
Besides reminding (to the extent of nagging) him to take care if his things, there are nothing much we parents can do as we are not in school to help him organize his things. He had to learn the hard way because he was "spoon-fed" all the way in preschool. We wished we could start earlier.
Kids nowadays don't feel the pinch of losing things anymore. They assume the item will be replaced unlike our days when we treasure every gifts we receive instead of using hand-me-downs. Even the "used" items are usually lightly used.
While I'm contemplating whether to buy him a new water bottle, it was returned to him the next day. He must have left it somewhere and his friend has put it in his locker as he has left for the day.
Showing posts with label Values. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Values. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Say People say yourself
I first heard this phrase from my son. He probably heard and learnt it from his classmates. But I soon realize it is a powerful phrase that work both ways. It simply means no double standards!
It is always easier to blame others than to find fault with ourselves. When we "say people", we should first reflect upon ourselves first. That is a constant reminder to "say yourself" before you accuse others.
At a recent training course on supervision skills, "model the way" is one of the technics used to motivate staff. My son's phrase came to mind. When we complain about our bosses, we can expect our staff complaining about us. For staff to be motivated at work, we must be their role model. If we drag our feet to work, we can't blame the kids resisting going back to school after a long term break.
Now I'm mindful how I conduct myself in front of my children. I can't tell my kids off when they are stuck to the tv & iphone when I use them so often. If you are a picky eater, get a family member to model to the child what is a healthy diet. Otherwise, say people say yourself!
It is always easier to blame others than to find fault with ourselves. When we "say people", we should first reflect upon ourselves first. That is a constant reminder to "say yourself" before you accuse others.
At a recent training course on supervision skills, "model the way" is one of the technics used to motivate staff. My son's phrase came to mind. When we complain about our bosses, we can expect our staff complaining about us. For staff to be motivated at work, we must be their role model. If we drag our feet to work, we can't blame the kids resisting going back to school after a long term break.
Now I'm mindful how I conduct myself in front of my children. I can't tell my kids off when they are stuck to the tv & iphone when I use them so often. If you are a picky eater, get a family member to model to the child what is a healthy diet. Otherwise, say people say yourself!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The Invisible Ruler
Everyone has an invisible ruler in their heart. We use it to measure and judge everyday. As parents, we influence our children in establishing this ruler when they are toddlers. The child develops this ruler and calibrate accordingly with every situation they encounter in the school and eventual work.
The ruler of values is one of the most important. Integrity and honesty is among the most important values. The child learns by observing how the adults respond to a situation (even without the adult knowing). As parents, we need to be mindful and set good examples for the child to emulate. The child gets the signal that it's ok to do this and that from what they observe. Without good communication, the child will interpret and remember the reaction and react in the same way if they encounter similar situation. If you tell a (white) lie, expect your child to use this technique against you one day.
As we grow up, the boundary between black/white and right/wrong become blurred. The ruler will be benchmarked against different situations, at home, at work or in public. We may not have the time and patience to explain to the child why certain things are done a certain way. So we should try our best to conduct ourselves as the person we want our child to be.
The ruler of values is one of the most important. Integrity and honesty is among the most important values. The child learns by observing how the adults respond to a situation (even without the adult knowing). As parents, we need to be mindful and set good examples for the child to emulate. The child gets the signal that it's ok to do this and that from what they observe. Without good communication, the child will interpret and remember the reaction and react in the same way if they encounter similar situation. If you tell a (white) lie, expect your child to use this technique against you one day.
As we grow up, the boundary between black/white and right/wrong become blurred. The ruler will be benchmarked against different situations, at home, at work or in public. We may not have the time and patience to explain to the child why certain things are done a certain way. So we should try our best to conduct ourselves as the person we want our child to be.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Motivation
As parents, we are looking for ways to motivate our children to learn and improve. As supervisors, we realized that motivation must be staff-initiated. We can only explain to them the importance of their assigned task. The attitude of the staff to complete the task is not up to us. Learning from motivating adults, we must know how the child motivates himself.
It's easy to give up and say "I don't know" as a child. Use examples of how the child previously completed a task. "You didn't know how to count before. Now that you can count, addition is just a continuation of counting" Explain the similarity in graphics or real life illustrations. "1,2,3 + 4,5,6..." The child should be encouraged that he has mastered counting and thus willing to take a small step to learn addition.
Rewards can only dangle a carrot in front of a child like how pay increment works for a staff. Some people work for money but others want other form of recognitions. I know friends who use sticker system to encourage the child to complete her work. After accumulating a certain number of stickers, she can redeem a prize or a bigger reward. It works to a certain extent but I want my children to know that they are learning for their own benefits, not for a toy or a holiday. In fact, I earned my atari game for topping the school in P1 myself. But towards upper pri, I lost "steam" although I passed my PSLE.
If the child has an ambition, help him work towards it. Tell him studies is important for him to attain his goal. He/she may want to be a pilot, air stewardess, chef, artist or even a rock star. Recognize his ambition with a wow. My son wanted to be a famous artist. I brought him to visit museum and interview a local artist. He held his first art exhibition in class with friends giving him encouragements. He's motivated to improve his painting as his ambition has been broken down into baby action plans. It's not important whether he becomes a famous artist eventually. The message we are bringing across is if he works towards it, he is a step closer to his dream and motivated to work even harder.
It's easy to give up and say "I don't know" as a child. Use examples of how the child previously completed a task. "You didn't know how to count before. Now that you can count, addition is just a continuation of counting" Explain the similarity in graphics or real life illustrations. "1,2,3 + 4,5,6..." The child should be encouraged that he has mastered counting and thus willing to take a small step to learn addition.
Rewards can only dangle a carrot in front of a child like how pay increment works for a staff. Some people work for money but others want other form of recognitions. I know friends who use sticker system to encourage the child to complete her work. After accumulating a certain number of stickers, she can redeem a prize or a bigger reward. It works to a certain extent but I want my children to know that they are learning for their own benefits, not for a toy or a holiday. In fact, I earned my atari game for topping the school in P1 myself. But towards upper pri, I lost "steam" although I passed my PSLE.
If the child has an ambition, help him work towards it. Tell him studies is important for him to attain his goal. He/she may want to be a pilot, air stewardess, chef, artist or even a rock star. Recognize his ambition with a wow. My son wanted to be a famous artist. I brought him to visit museum and interview a local artist. He held his first art exhibition in class with friends giving him encouragements. He's motivated to improve his painting as his ambition has been broken down into baby action plans. It's not important whether he becomes a famous artist eventually. The message we are bringing across is if he works towards it, he is a step closer to his dream and motivated to work even harder.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Practice makes perfect
Our boy is quite a perfectionist. When he's doing something well, he tends to want to do it again and again to improve himself. He will continue until we ask him to stop. That explains why he draws the same picture everyday.
On the contrary, if he sees a challenge ahead, he will pout and scream at himself. To encourage him, we need to break the task into achievable bits so that he can see the "results" as parts to achieve the goal. When practicing piano, he needs to practise the more challenging phrases many times until he gets it before playing the whole song. When he plays a note wrong accidentally, he will start from the beginning.
This is a double-edged sword. It has been difficult to motivate him to start something new unless he is confident he can do it. He used to watch others playing at the playground before he finally went up the slide. Mei was exactly the opposite. She will go up the steps and slide down immediately.
But once he's into something, it's guaranteed that he will not give up easily. He will motivate himself to perfection and attempts more difficult tasks at his own pace. Mei, on the other hand, tries everything that comes in the way and gives up as when she thinks she's lost interest. For eg. She requested to drop out from art class to attend ballet class.
While the 2 children approach challenges different, the key is practice makes perfect. We always encourage them to put on efforts to practice be it writing, drawing, dancing or public speaking. We may not be good at the 1st attempt, but we will be better.
On the contrary, if he sees a challenge ahead, he will pout and scream at himself. To encourage him, we need to break the task into achievable bits so that he can see the "results" as parts to achieve the goal. When practicing piano, he needs to practise the more challenging phrases many times until he gets it before playing the whole song. When he plays a note wrong accidentally, he will start from the beginning.
This is a double-edged sword. It has been difficult to motivate him to start something new unless he is confident he can do it. He used to watch others playing at the playground before he finally went up the slide. Mei was exactly the opposite. She will go up the steps and slide down immediately.
But once he's into something, it's guaranteed that he will not give up easily. He will motivate himself to perfection and attempts more difficult tasks at his own pace. Mei, on the other hand, tries everything that comes in the way and gives up as when she thinks she's lost interest. For eg. She requested to drop out from art class to attend ballet class.
While the 2 children approach challenges different, the key is practice makes perfect. We always encourage them to put on efforts to practice be it writing, drawing, dancing or public speaking. We may not be good at the 1st attempt, but we will be better.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Road Sweeper
When I was a child, my mum told me if I don't study hard, I will become a road sweeper. Coincidently, at that age, I enjoy sweeping the floor and thought I could become a good road sweeper one day. It was one of those myths that I grow up with. I grew up believing police catch naughty children & I was picked up from the rubbish dump.
Few weeks ago, we passed by a green field where some foreign worker were dismantling the tentage after a community event. My boy asked me why all the workers were foreigners. I could have adopted the road sweeper analogy and tell him to study hard. But I didn't.
The foreign workers left their homelands in search of livelihood. They take up low-waged jobs which Singaporeans are reluctant to do. They use their blood and sweat in exchange for bread and butter just to be remitted home miles away. Whether they are construction worker or domestics helper, they are contributing to our economy. When the rubbish truck came by our estates and the children find it smelly, we reminded them the cleaners have the endure the odour the whole day at work.
In today's context, there is an increased influx of foreigners compared to my time. I hope my children can grow up respecting others, regardless of their background and occupation. Meanwhile, I will find other ways to motivate them to study hard.
Few weeks ago, we passed by a green field where some foreign worker were dismantling the tentage after a community event. My boy asked me why all the workers were foreigners. I could have adopted the road sweeper analogy and tell him to study hard. But I didn't.
The foreign workers left their homelands in search of livelihood. They take up low-waged jobs which Singaporeans are reluctant to do. They use their blood and sweat in exchange for bread and butter just to be remitted home miles away. Whether they are construction worker or domestics helper, they are contributing to our economy. When the rubbish truck came by our estates and the children find it smelly, we reminded them the cleaners have the endure the odour the whole day at work.
In today's context, there is an increased influx of foreigners compared to my time. I hope my children can grow up respecting others, regardless of their background and occupation. Meanwhile, I will find other ways to motivate them to study hard.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)