Assuming leadership roles

Had a chat with gorgor about his new school term so far. He told me his friends have voted him as group leader again. He lamented that he doesn't like to be group leader as he would rather play during recess than helping his group members on their corrections. I was surprised as I thought it was just helping the teacher collect & distribute books in class. I didn't expect the group leader to coach other members academically.

I was dumbfounded. As a mum, should I discourage him from helping others? Did the teacher assign additional roles because she thought he was capable to handle? Was he just complaining or really not happy with the arrangement? Could he have feedback to his teacher himself?

I was class monitress and prefect throughout my pri school days. I don't remember helping the class with anything academic except running errands, taking attendance & filling up forms. I wasn't especially happy or reluctant about being the class monitress. I hope my son can take on roles within his capabilities and develop his leadership qualities at this age.

I guess I'll just be his listening ears at the moment. He may just be group leader for a term like last year. If he thinks he doesn't want to continue, he must learn to speak up for himself. Afterall, we don't enjoy doing everything we are assigned. We need to fulfill obligations and duties at certain circumstances. I think it's part & parcel of growing up.

Don't miss the teachable moments

In our daily interactions with our children, there are numerous teachable opportunities we have to make use of, be it involving them in decision makings for the family or pointing out to them their mistakes & how they can improve in future.

Recently, we had a debate on whether we should make a trip to the newly completed Hello Kitty land. You see, we just visited Legoland & missed a few rides like dragon & water slide. In our post-trip discussion, we thought of visiting hello kitty land if we are going Legoland again.

Gorgor: No way! I'm a boy & boys don't go hello kitty land. If you are staying at the hotel for the night, I'll stay in the room to watch tv.

Meimei looking disappointed

Me: But gorgor may be captured by bad guy & you will have no gorgor...we can't go hello kitty land unless gorgor comes along

Meimei thinking about the implications

Meimei: Ok lo. We won't go hello kitty land. I don't want bad guy to catch gorgor

After a few hours...

Gorgor pondered over his decision after observing how disappointed meimei was

Gorgor: Mummy, meimei is very caring hor...

Me: Yes, why (totally forgot about the discussion)

Gorgor: I watched on tv commercial that there is a station to make accessories at hello kitty land. I will go & make accessories for meimei lo

Me: (eyes wide open)...speechless

My heart melted when I realized how much they love each other. Although it is only an hypothetical discussion (ya, we didn't promise when we are going), these are the teachable moments of taking the sibling's view into consideration when making decisions. At least I know if I'm not around one day, they will take care of each other.

Oh Xmas Tree!

Xmas is round the corner. Like previous years, we have made creating our own version of crafty Xmas Trees our family tradition. When the children were younger, we explored conical objects, complete with a star to top it off. Now that they are older, we decorated, painted & pasted to assemble a Xmas tree. Of course, we still top it off with a star!

Merry Xmas!

Rounding up the academic year 2012

Time flies. A year just slipped by and this week of school term is filled with PTMs, open house, farewell parties & the anxiety of receiving the report book.

Enjoyed watching mei's performance & how she interacted with friends in school. She's loud & clear in her singing & recital, great in her motor skills to coordinate the dance steps & followed the timing of the song playing on the xylophone. Mummy was busy snapping photo of her proud moments while she explained her art work including the missing kite that has been chosen to appear in the school magazine.

Spent some time talking to the form teacher as she won't be taking them through K2 next year. As a mum herself, she shared her experience of bringing up children of different abilities and characters, juggle worklife balance & latest changes of pri school system which I have not realized. Specific to mei's development, she recommended to practice more on addition questions through games like fishing (add up 2 cards to get the number). Learning through play is so much fun, we will definitely play more this holidays.

For gorgor, it was time to clear his locker & school bag. Well, 1 learning point is that we will need plastic covers to sustain his books for mei to use. His worksheets & quizzes are all crumpled even with a folder. Guess he's still not organized enough & room for improvement in P2.

Academically, he came in 1st in position & aced all 3 core subjects with occasional Bs in social studies, moral education & PE. I know his motor skills are still not as developed & even received a letter to go for a flat-foot check. I'm proud that he has completed the 1st leg of the marathon but also know that there's a long way to go. There will definitely be some disappointment in upper pri & sec school grades in later part of his life as P1 is relatively easy. I'll wait for that moment to deal with it. Meanwhile, it's time to pack for our 1st road trip...

Desaru Learning Journey

These days, children get to go on overseas trips in primary school. Yes, at P1! I recalled my first overseas school trip was at sec 2 to melacca. Well, that also meant that parents need to go along. Since we are applying leave, must as well bring mei along and make it a family holiday.

We covered 3 destinations- Desaru fruit farm, chocolate factory & wong's kampong. At each destination, gorgor had to complete some quizzes after each visit or activity. In Reggio, it encourages the child to learn and explore the environment- real life, in action, from self-observations, interactive instead of reading from books or listening to teachers. We (yah, parents included) learnt more about fruits, how chocolate is made and Malay culture. We also survived long bus rides with rowdy boys while we were trying to catch forty winks while caught in the PIE jam.

It was a long day for all of us. To reinforce the learning points, we recapped our experience from photos we took over the weekend. Documenting our memories through collage and captions. Last but not least, gorgor had to email his teacher about his trip. I realized how ICT has become an important communication channel to a kid now. He needed to address his teacher and sign off with his name instead of simply submitting a composition or diary which is already tough enough for a P1 kid.

That aside, I'm sure the children will remember their 1st overseas school trip like how I remembered mine. It's the beginning of the learning journey and more eye-openers in the days to come.

Paper Plate Crafts

Paper plate is another versatile craft material for kids. It is round, hence suitable for making masks and animals without the hassle of cutting. We have used paper plates to make clicks, turtle shells and animal faces. The best part is they come in different sizes.

Give them a Childhood

Prime Minister urged parents to give our children their childhood at his national day rally speech. Well, childhood in Singapore is no longer like kumpong days. I grew up in HDB flats and outdoor was limited to playgrounds & occasional family excursions to haw paw villa & east coast park. So what should a proper childhood be, in today's context- fast paced, technologically-dependent, self-centered society?

Specifically, he was referring to giving children more free time, instead of sending them to 2 kindergartens & tuitions round the clock. Ok, that's manageable. Our children have been attending 4-hr kindergarten b4 starting primary school. Enrichment is restricted to their requested activity- music, art or ballet. They spent most of their free time drawing, playing, singing, watching tv, playing iPhone (oops!) etc. Homework is restricted to 2 pages of worksheets on Fridays for K1 and e-learning for P1. I'm trying to enforce more outdoor time per week, but it's constrained by our schedule, weather and pure laziness.

To encourage more babies, strategies like worklife balance, subsidies/ priority in housing and pre-school education are suggested, without details until the white paper is out. It has sparked off discussion online and forums on printed media. Everyone gave good and bad examples of sending children to pre-school enrichments, pri-sch preparations and whether homework should be given for pre-schools.

To me, all these are personal decisions that cannot be moderated at the ministry level. Didn't MOE enforce 5-day week? Why did I still see children in uniform regularly on Sundays at nearby popular primary school which was over-subscribed 3 times at phase 2b this year? It can only be encouraged but not endorsed. Maternity leave of 4 month was reviewed and considered "sufficient". If an employee needs more than 4 months, she can extend using her annual or even no pay leave if required. There is no one- size-fit-all model.

Among all the strategies discussed, giving them their well-deserved childhood is the minimum we can offer. And to do that, I can only afford to have 2 kids, with 24 hours to distribute between family, work and self. We will continue to implement our no-tuition policy and include more outdoor time in our schedule. Afterall, childhood is the memory that a child has when he grew up. I can only remember the silly games I played with my sister but has long forgotten what was taught in the classroom.

The Mad Hatter's Tea Party

It's Sep holidays and the malls have transformed into different settings to attract the children (parents actually) to their shops. We attended a tea party, yup, Alice in Wonderland musical, to be specific.

The songs and dances were lively. The costumes and makeup were nicely done (better than barbie live, I would think). We enjoyed ourselves for a good 30min after lunch. The queen of hearts was the "bad guy" as mei put it, but she's really funny demanding the audience to bow and clap to her demands.

After the tea party, we continued with some related activities at home, reading the Alice in wonderland book (which I managed to retrieved after a 30min search). I asked mei to draw a white rabbit with a clock watch on his chest after reading.

It's always fun to see stories come alive. Looking forward to watching Arabian night next week. Stay tuned!

Sibling Activities

I used to find it tough to think of activities that can engage both children at one go. I was overly worried that mei won't like "boy's stuff" & vice versa. Not anymore. I can hear them giggling over self-created jokes and songs. It doesn't matter if it's over barbie or dragon ball. They enjoy the songs and movies together.

Here are some of their favorite sibling activities

Drawing
Mei has been drawing with gorgor everyday after school. You can see how her drawings are influenced by gorgor's when her mermaids and princesses start to grow claws & fangs.

Designing games
Gorgor likes to design games like maze & puzzles on paper. Mei is usually his target player. Mei involves herself in creating more girly characters & stunts.

iPhone
Ok, it's not the best activity but they do play & collaborate on iPhone games like smurf & zombie makeover. Mei is not ready to play scramble & words yet, but she can draw something for gorgor to guess.

Singing & Dancing
Gorgor has been taking music classes and mei ballet. While gorgor is practicing, mei is secretly singing solfege and dancing along the melody. Mei also taught gorgor some ballet moves eg. Froggy diamond & butterfly flaps.

Well, when they are not fighting, they are definitely enjoying each others company. It is so nice to have a big brother, I always tell mei.

Singapore Skyline theme crafts

With more iconic building sprouting out at marina, our Singapore skyline has taken on a new distinct character. Let the child enjoy the magnificent night light & create his own skyline on his own. Create fireworks with glitters against dark sky. Understand the geometry of flyers (introduce some maths concept of dividing a circle). Not forgetting the super cantilever skygarden of marina sands.

Toilet Roll Crafts

We keep every toilet roll to craft. We can cut them out into sections to create flower petals. Even create a neck for the duck's head. The cylindrical shape can be used to make a beautiful castle with cardboard pieces. The kids even created their own game by throwing a marble into the toilet roll sections marked 10,20,30 etc. A great maths cum aiming game!

That explains why mei's favorite past time is painting toilet rolls...

Tissue Box Crafts

Tissue box is one of the most versatile and easily available craft material. From monsters to room deco, from treasure chest to musical instruments. All you need is a pair of adult scissors, coloured papers & you are ready to embark on a journey to create it with your child!

The child can have lotsa fun playing the new toy he has created. Trust me, it beats any electronic game that you can buy from the stores!

Happy Birthday Singapore

As expected, we were not successful in balloting for NDP tickets. We watched the show live at the comfort of our living room while the children draw. Earlier in the day, we baked some cupcakes & sprinkled colourful chips like fireworks. While gorgor drew his merlions (both real & cute versions), mei continued with her toilet roll painting.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

The Default Activity

As soon as they can sit still, my kids have been doodling and crafting. We maintain a constant supply of pencils and papers at easily accessible locations at home.

Painting requires more help, eg. Cleaning the brushes, changing water and mixing colours. As they grow up, they are able to paint on their own without much help. I just need to lay some newspaper on the floor and bring out the art supplies.

Mei likes to mix colours and paint on toilet rolls. I think it's the texture of the toilet roll which is slightly thicker than normal paper and the shape of the toilet rolls that makes it interesting for her. She will hold on to the roll, paint as she turns. She will use her favorite pink and explore new colours by mixing pink and beige, red and silver etc. It's sheer joy observing her paint toilet rolls. It must be therapeutic for her.

Missing Bottle Missing Books

Mei was singing this new song from school- missing metal, missing strings...it reminds me if her brother. He lost his water bottle & a new book he bought from the book fair 2 days in a row.

Besides reminding (to the extent of nagging) him to take care if his things, there are nothing much we parents can do as we are not in school to help him organize his things. He had to learn the hard way because he was "spoon-fed" all the way in preschool. We wished we could start earlier.

Kids nowadays don't feel the pinch of losing things anymore. They assume the item will be replaced unlike our days when we treasure every gifts we receive instead of using hand-me-downs. Even the "used" items are usually lightly used.

While I'm contemplating whether to buy him a new water bottle, it was returned to him the next day. He must have left it somewhere and his friend has put it in his locker as he has left for the day.

Creating a maths game

As part of the independent research study, our boy has to design a game. Over a full day learning journey, they learnt more about game mechanisms, techniques and steps in designing their games. Their homework is to prototype the game and play test with family and friends.

Last Friday evening, we brainstormed on the game title and general rules of the games. We decided on the game components to make- a game board & cards. We started the project on Saturday evening, cutting cardboards, deciding where to place plus and minus signs. Along the way, we made adjustments to the placement of the signs so that meaningful addition and subtraction sentences can be made.

Generally, his game, Number City, goes like this- Each player draws 8 cards and start to create maths sentences with each turn until he finishes his cards. To add challenges, we designed special cards eg. Swap, draw 2, exchange, to spice up the game. He has not decided whether to use a "magic" card to clear the board totally and start from an empty board.

In play testing, we subjected the game to different scenarios that will never been known if it remains in concept. He learnt how to explain his game creation with rules he set and answer questions on decisions he made. Tough for a P1 but it is indeed a learning journey, for both mother & son.

Raising Independent Kids

Completing a task for a child is usually faster than waiting for the child to explore through trial and error. It takes time for a toddler to self-feed and toilet train. Along the journey, there will be messes to clear and frustrations. Many parents will give in and wait for the child to be "ready" before retrying.

My children are taken care by their grandparents when I'm at work. There are different ground rules set at the 2 households. MIL tends to give in and feed the child even if the child is ready is self-feed. Her reason being she will rather feed the child than clearing the mess that will be left on the table and floor as she has housework piling up.

When we pick our children home after work and over weekends, we adopt the DIY approach at home. If the child doesn't keep their toys, the mess will be left at it is or thrown away after a few warnings. I'll rather live with the mess than having irresponsible children.

Children adapt to different situations quickly. They are ready to be independent when given the chance. Given the time and space, the child can learn at their own pace. Failure is part & parcel of growing up. Observing how my children behave under different caregivers, I can see how the environment can mould the future of a child.

Daily Reports

I work long hours but make it a point to talk to my children everyday, 1 to 1, eye to eye, for at least 5 min, unless they are asleep by the time I reach home. My children know that mummy is interested to know what they learnt in school and the daily tidbits of their classroom activities.

It is usually easier to dish out juicy stuffs from mei. You see, she's the class monitress calibre- helpful otherwise busybody. She will tell me who has been naughty and talkative, how many times can her friend bounce the ball and who fell down/ vomitted/ made teacher angry etc. After the daily reporting, I'll prompt her to tell me a new word she learnt (Chinese or English) or new song she sang. If she forgot the lyrics or melody, she will pay more attention in class the next day and complete the song the same evening.

For gorgor, he will reply that nothing unusual happened. Instead he will tell me how much he spend at each stall during tea break and lunch, how much chilli he added in his laksa and about catching and monkey bar he played in school. Recently, he has been selected to join the school art CCA. But he's still reluctant to share more even though he was excited to go for the CCA after class. I have to nudge him and persuade him by telling him mummy didn't have a chance to join school art CCA (then called ECA) during my school days (which is true). Slowly, he opened up and told me about the Popsicle group project they have done for the 1st session.

The idea behind this activity is simple. Mummy no longer have time (& energy) to prepare materials for crafts everyday. By replacing with a simple conversation, I kill 2 birds with 1 stone by getting 1st hand information of what they did in school and they get a chance to practice their reporting skills by verbalizing their thoughts.

That's our daily bonding activity, what's yours?

Preparation for P1

This is the time of the year that everyone will be discussing about Primary School registration. A series of "how to prepare your child for primary school" talks, forum chats and articles will surface. This year, MOE even produced a video for parent's reference to consider on selecting primary schools (ie. not based on PSLE results).

Last year, I went through the frenzy accessing MOE website to monitor the take up rate of the choice school at each phase because I didn't volunteer my service at any schools like some of my friends. I haven't been lucky in balloting (including winning lucky draws) so I won't take the chance of balloting for the most popular school in the neighborhood although I'm within 1km.

This year I'm an observer as my son has already enrolled in a primary school. I read the release of info and reviewed if my son was ready for the "big school" (compared with his kindergarten at the void deck). He's fine academically (phew!) but lacked behind in his social and confidence level.

6 months into primary school, I wish i had better prepare him in the following areas:

1. Being organized
He needs to pack his bag based on daily time table. Most parents would help the child pack every night instead of going through the agony. But we thought it is important for the child to pick up some organisation skills. We expect him to remember which are the textbooks and workbooks required for each day. At times, he needs help with filing and sorting. When he forced in loads of books randomly, we would suggested he organized the books according to sizes with workbooks behind and exercise books in front. We could have trained him better in packing and sorting earlier.

2. Run but don't fall
Recess time is something new to a primary school kid. We trained him to buy food on his own including calculating how much change he should be getting back. He's fine with managing his pocket money and even bought stationery and gifts from the bookshop for meimei. He spends his free time after eating and "shopping" playing catching with friends and challenges himself on the monkey bar. But after 5 falls within a month, I thought he may have problem with balancing or motor skills. I could have prepared him better if he was exposed to more sports at a younger age.

3. Speak up at appropriate time
He has been rather quiet in class. In the Reggio-learning environment, we hope he can participate actively in discussions instead of answering only when being asked. He has marked improvements since nursery, but still room for improvement. Once he lost his pencil case and did not have the courage to approach the teacher to ask if there is lost & found items. I had to email his form teacher for help and asked him to retrieve from teacher the next day. We could have "practiced" situational role player at home before school started.

4. Be responsible for your belongings
Primary school children move around the school compound for different lessons. My child has the tendency to misplace his belongings when moving from room to room. We must constantly remind him to ensure he brings along all his belongings before he leaves the room. We could have incorporated this habit earlier at home.

Overall, I'm quite happy with his progress so far, especially having made some friends who have common interests. I think it's the kind of motivating environment that can nurture the child.

Say People say yourself

I first heard this phrase from my son. He probably heard and learnt it from his classmates. But I soon realize it is a powerful phrase that work both ways. It simply means no double standards!

It is always easier to blame others than to find fault with ourselves. When we "say people", we should first reflect upon ourselves first. That is a constant reminder to "say yourself" before you accuse others.

At a recent training course on supervision skills, "model the way" is one of the technics used to motivate staff. My son's phrase came to mind. When we complain about our bosses, we can expect our staff complaining about us. For staff to be motivated at work, we must be their role model. If we drag our feet to work, we can't blame the kids resisting going back to school after a long term break.

Now I'm mindful how I conduct myself in front of my children. I can't tell my kids off when they are stuck to the tv & iphone when I use them so often. If you are a picky eater, get a family member to model to the child what is a healthy diet. Otherwise, say people say yourself!